Sophie Ngugi - A Child of the universe

Men must teach each other that real men do not violate or oppress women – and that a woman’s place is not just in the home or the field, but in schools and offices and boardrooms. -- Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon When conducting gender awareness trainings, one of the sessions I enjoy is listening to people from different cultures express what made them know they are boy or girl while growing up. While some are hilarious, many share how an adult made them realize what they were doing not appropriate for their gender. Habits like climbing trees were frowned upon for girls while habits like crying were quickly condemned for boys. Generally girls were encouraged to be submissive and obedient while boys were encouraged to fight and prove they are strong. Many men have memories of being made to fight off an aggressor to prove themselves. While childhood fights are encouraged by peers, for boys it was a mark of ‘manhood’ and the boy needed to prove that he is ‘a man’. A friend of mine sh...

“The only disability in life is a bad attitude” Scott Hamilton Today I remember one great lady that I know. She was crying inconsolably, and many could barely understand what she was saying. This was unlike her usual bubbly smiling self. She was in pain. Eventually someone deciphered what she was crying about. We understood it then, she had been forced to have an abortion and she was bitter about this. She is deaf; she cannot hear or speak hence the difficulties in understanding what she was trying to communicate. She was not born with the condition but it developed after childhood illness hence she has never known speech. Her situation was complicated and I could tell where her family was coming from. She had two more children and did not have any gainful engagement. It was hard bringing up her children. The other element of her story is that it was never clear if she had been a willing participant or she had been raped. Apparently the perpetrator was known but nothing had ever...

“We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.”  Elie Wiesel Silence and fear have been used against survivors of gender based violence. Women keep quiet because they dare not speak out and embarrass the abuser. She may be blamed for what happened. They are likely to be blamed for what happened if not suffer more violence in the process. Men on the other hand though in minority will not speak out since it is unexpected, unmanly to experience gender based violence.   Sometimes the silence is forced by the perpetrator while other times, one just feels they have to keep silence. I recall an experience I had in my childhood that has remained edged in my mind. I still recall that beautiful Monday morning when I was excited to start a new phase in life. I was 7 years old, and voila, I was getting to the ‘big school’ as we referred to the primary school. I was wearing my pink dress that my ...

Violence against women is perhaps the most shameful human rights violation, and it is perhaps the most pervasive. It knows no boundaries of geography, culture or wealth. As long as it continues, we cannot claim to be making real progress towards equality, development and peace.” Kofi Annan, Former UN Secretary-General. Today is the international day on elimination of all forms of violence against women. It also marks the beginning of the 16 days of activism against Gender Based Violence in the world. The campaigns goes for 16 days and ends on 10th December which is the international Human Rights day. This campaign aims to put a focus on violence perpetrated against women and girls. There are other days in between that are marked as well including the International Women Human Rights Defenders Day,(29th Nov,) World AIDS day (Dec 1)  international Day of disabled persons (Dec 3) Montreal Massacre (Dec 6), when 14 female engineering students were massacred.  When discuss...

"I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented." Ellie Wiesel As I sat across her on Friday last week (13th November 09), I wondered if there is anything I could say that would make it right. I wondered if there is anything, I could say that would make her know that I understand that I cannot empathize enough, but I wish I could. I cannot even claim to feel with her, to understand her, however much I try. Aisha had been in Kenya for some time, and I knew she had gone through a lot. I had wanted to see her, but I knew that I needed to fit her at the most appropriate time, not after work but a time that she would be comfortable traversing Nairobi. We had planned to meet for some time, but I seemed too busy to get the time. As I sat outside the one building that she had said she could trace in Nairo...